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2016: Rated by Millennials as the Most Disappointing Year in History

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By Kaleigh Steigman

Millennials, through participation in a Twitter poll this past week, have rated 2016 as the Most Disappointing Year in History. It is common that election years leave many angered, but those interviewed had other ideas about the causes of our unhappy nation.

From formatting changes in social media, to Starbucks’ newest cup, it is largely agreed that, no matter what side of any given argument a person is on, 2016 was a disappointment.

“The year was going pretty well until Instagram decided to go, like, modern of whatever,” Kristina Page, a freshman in college, said about the new Instagram logo that became the face of the social media platform in May. “I mean, it doesn’t even look like an actual camera anymore! I don’t understand how anyone could be ok with this. I know it has been like seven months or something, but some wounds never heal.”

Page refused to say whether or not she would use Instagram after their “major show of like, disrespect,”as she was snapchatting.

Instagram was not the only technological platform to cause heartache this year. Apple announced iOS 10, which released everything from access to a notification feed without unlocking, to improvements in 3D touch.

“It took away my ability to trust. Simple as that,” Carl Smith, a 25 year-old said, commenting on Apple’s latest development. “Everytime I leave my phone on the table, I come back to find it on! It took me two whole weeks of interrogating my coworkers to figure out that no one had tried to hack into it, and that it just automatically turns on now! How is this helpful at all?” he questioned, referring to the ‘Raise to Wake’  feature of iOS 10.

In 2016, not even memes, the face of the internet, were safe from destruction.

“Muhammad Ali, Alan Rickman and Prince weren’t enough; they had to take Pepe too!” Declan Jones, a Pepe the Frog Enthusiast, said, referring to the Anti-Defamation League’s label of the green frog as a hate symbol.

“I mean, how is a frog made to look like Donald Trump anything like a swastika? He just wants to make a wall, not harm a certain group of people based on their religious background,” he continued, his face filled with genuine confusion.

The last disappointment of 2016 hit the hearts of those unexpectedly interested in materialistic endeavours: Christians.

The season had just changed, and Christians far and wide stopped berating Cadbury Cream Eggs, and turned their Twitter guns on another beloved treat: Starbuck’s coffee.  The new seasonal cup: an intricately woven drawing of a group of people made using only one line, was released on November 1st with a statement about “shared humanity and connection.” This sentiment was lost on the Christians.

“There is something inherently wrong with a company when it chooses to attack a group of people who want nothing but a nice holiday season,” said Mary Ann Johnson, a women who had just finished “decking the halls” when she heard the news of the “tragedy.”

“Is it so much to ask that, in the months leading up to the day of Our Lord, I can drink my coffee out of a cup that at least has some red on it?” she questioned, holding up a picture of a  red and green cup from years past when “satan did not care about coffee.”

Johnson was not the only one that Starbucks “greatly offended.” Julia Green, who had been working as a barista in the “sinful” coffee shop before the new cup was released, thought that this development was the icing on the cake of a disappointing year.

“It’s like this is the year that love died, you know? I mean, first Brangelina, and now this blatant disregard for the very heart of joy.” she said, referring to Christmas, a holiday celebrated by only 30% of the world’s population. “Is is true that nothing gold can stay. What are we going to hear about tomorrow? The fall of the nation?”

 

Categories: News, Uncategorized

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