ZERO Complaints About Prom!

By Ellie Muraca

May 7, 2015

A nation-wide tradition, the annual high school spring prom is anticipated by many students. It’s a night for young women to prove their worth and beauty by spending a humble average of $900 to enhance their high cheekbones and thin waistlines. Gentlemen keep their cool by waiting until the day of the event to find a mediocre tuxedo with questionable stains and wrinkles that scream “Hey, I’m a casual guy”.

However, the attire isn’t the only thing that students focus on when prom season rolls around. There is one aspect that sticks out farther than the total balance of a prom outfit on a Belk receipt. Promposals. This holy union of two uncomfortable teenagers is created to ensure that you have a guaranteed slow dance partner when another Taylor Swift hit comes on directly after “Turn Down for What” (so that each dance partner is as sweaty as possible).

All students showed up promptly at 8:00 pm, politely thanking every administrator who stood in front of the doors wishing the students a good night.

“I could really tell that the administrators really cared about me having a fun time,” senior Ryan Goodman said. “I was actually kind of overwhelmed, every single administrator was there, and they all were wishing me a good time. That put a lot of pressure on me to have fun. I didn’t want to let them down.”

To create the best atmosphere possible, the staff at the Holiday Inn turned off the AC to make sure students remembered that dehydration was a real thing, and that they should drink as many cups of water as possible. The dance floor was Hunger Games inspired; a small platform versus hundreds of sweaty teenagers desperately trying to get hype.

The DJ was enthusiastic, holding a strong stage presence and playing unexpected, exciting new songs such as “Call Me Maybe” and incredible, mind blowing remixes of “Turn Down for What”, each more unique than the next.

Though studens requested hundreds of songs on a google form, the DJ believed that he had a better idea of what people wanted to hear.

“I just kinda turned on the top 40 list from 2012,” the DJ said. “What’s a Google form?”

The SCA plans to make prom the exact same next spring as no complaints were heard from the attendants.

“The early 2010’s were just such a good era for pop music,” Owen Zoll (11) said when discussion the playlist. “Every song has it’s own unique beat to it; I’m glad they’re gonna play the exact same playlist next year.”

Categories: Opinion, Satire

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